The State FINALLY on DVD!!

If you’re a fan of the 90s MTV comedy sketch show The State — which launched the careers of many current members of Reno 911! — your day has finally arrived!

For years, fans petitioned to get a DVD of The State released, and MTV gave various excuses as to why it wouldn’t be commercially viable.  But it appears it’s finally official!  The DVD set will appear in stores on July 14!

If you’re unfamiliar with this lost relic of Gen X pop culture, do yourself a favor and watch a few of the videos below:

One of my favorites, the “International Signs” sketch:

A different kind of copy shop:

A father and son race home…sort of…

Some strained fast-food employee interaction:

And just for fun, the trailer for the DVD, which features excerpts from the kick-ass theme song:

Sesame Street Censored

Remember how the DVD release of the first seasons of Sesame Street came with a warning label that stated the show might not be appropriate for “today’s preschool child”?

Well…here are some reimaginings of familiar Sesame Street moments that might not even be appropriate for adults:

The Count and his favorite hobby:

Bert and Ernie teach the importance of nocturnal hygiene:

Big Bird and Kermit receive medicinal aid:

A couple clips featured on Jimmy Kimmel (brilliant!):

Fake MTA Advisory Signs

For those of you not in New York, the Metro Transit Authority (MTA) — which runs New York’s subway and bus systems — has been hit hard by the recession, and as a result, it recently announced that monthly passes would increase in cost from $81 to $103.

Still a shitload cheaper than owning a car, which involves paying for gas, oil changes, maintenance, insurance, etc. But understandably, New Yorkers are irked, especially since the fare hike will coincide with service cuts (two subway lines and many more bus lines will disappear completely, and all remaining service will run with diminished frequency).

New Yorkers are taking out there anger in various ways. On the Downtown 4 Train from Harlem, for example, I heard a shabby looking gentleman screaming to anyone who’d listen about “bourgeois bullshit”.

But some are putting their anger to creative use. Last week, The Gothamist reported on some fake advisory signs that were posted in various stations around the city. The centerpiece was this gem, seen at the Metropolitan stop off the G Line:

Sure, the grammar is atrocious, but for some reason, I find that makes it funnier.

Here’s another grammatically incorrect but nonetheless hilarious sign on an unidentified line:

In searching the Gothamist archives, I also found this story , which links to some more fake signage and also features some hilarious comments from font nerds.

And this site, which let’s you create your own fake subway sign! It’s outdated, but still fun.  And some of the entries in the gallery (linked at the bottom of the page) are just brilliant 🙂

Twitter Haiku

I still don’t get the point of Twitter, but since it’s growing exponentially in popularity, I thought I’d pay tribute with a little haiku.  FYI, I coin the term “Twitt” to refer to a Twitter user.

This is done from the point-of-view of the Twitter punditry:

We shouldn’t be twits
But rather should we be Twitts
Or something betwixt

I’ve also been able to take my initial annoyance at the term “tweet” — which describes updates on Twitter and can be used as both a noun and a verb — and turn it into fun imaginary conjugations.  For example:

“Hey dude, did you send me a tweet?”
“Yeah, man, I totally twoted [tw-oh-ted] you an hour ago.”

By the way, if someone uses Twitter to remind me that I have a lunch appointment with him/her, have I in fact been “tweeted to lunch”?

Or if two opposing factions make amends on Twitter, have they in fact enacted a ?

Okay, maybe I’ll forget I just said those things.  I need some clarity, because at the moment, I’m hopelessly Twitterpated:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Bally Total Fitness wants you to return to the womb!

The following is, I kid you not, a genuine excerpt from a contract with Bally Total Fitness.  You know Bally’s…the club that uses chiseled male torsos and scantily clad women to promise you a rocket body if you just join.

I thought that once the contract showed up, they’d cut the bullshit, since they’re just trying to sign you up as quickly as possible.  But apparently, they really want you to get intimate with their female members.  Intimate…as in inside their birth canals:

“If you have any questions, please call your home club or contact Member cervices.

See you at the club,

Bally Total Fitness”

I could pick on the fact that Bally’s contract writers aren’t spelling-bee champions, but much more fun to assume that all the egregious flirting that goes on in almost every Bally’s I’ve ever walked into — and much more, from what I’ve heard from friends who are Bally’s employees and scout the locker rooms every now and then — is the result of horny members taking the company quite literally at its (misspelled) word.

I could also get pedantic and preach the values of correct spelling, but I think I’ll let the lesson here be:

Never assume that “returning to the womb” is solely metaphorical.

TV pilot for a nerdirific show!

My friend Jen Dziura, who co-hosts both the Williamsburg Spelling Bee and the Chelsea Mind Games, recently filmed a pilot for a Sci-Fi Channel reality show involving brainy people channeling their cerebral powers to solve everyday problems.

In the pilot (included below), Jen shows you how you can use logic to hog a dessert and still come across as considerate.

She and her fellow nerds also tackle the ins and outs of finding the perfect parking space in a Los Angeles parking lot.  I enjoyed that part, but mostly, I was glad that I no longer live in Los Angeles, where I suffered endless headaches from navigating through small, crowded parking lots (and got more practice parallel parking than I ever thought possible).

Among Jen’s teammates are a man with a 190+ IQ, a woman with a Ph.D. in Robotics and Engineering, another with a Ph.D. specializing in human behavior, and a tech entrepreneur.

Check out the pilot and bump up the view count!  Sit back and enjoy…

BRAIN TRUST!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Some Watchmen Alternatives

Yes, the day has finally come.  The long-awaited Watchmen movie arrives today.  Reviews from my favorite critics have been lukewarm.  And I’m trying to forget the few minutes of 300 I caught on TV, which were more than enough to shake my faith in director Zack Snyder.  I suspect I’ll end up wondering what might have been had Darren Aronofsky (who directed π, Requiem for a Dream, and The Wrestler, and was at one point attached to Watchmen) ended up in the director’s seat.  I can’t really take anything away from Alan Moore’s dissociation from the film, since his snubbing yet another adaptation of his work seems more a formality than any statement of ideological or artistic differences.  At any rate, I’m still holding out some hope.

In the meantime, here are a couple of terrific alternatives (a pictorial reimagining followed by possibly the greatest video ever):

One last Palin parody — via Cronenberg!

So, with the election underway, I must say goodbye to my chances to make fun of Sarah Palin.

But before I do, I’ll conclude with something I’ve wanted to do for some time.

One of my favorite films is David Cronenberg‘s Videodrome, which deals with, among other things, the blurred lines between media and reality (very apropos) and also between the virtual and the corporeal.

So, I had this idea, and…well…here you go:

She'll turn your world backwards and forwards!

Hot damn! You know what Freud would say about that red dress?? Listen, I'd really like to offer you the vice-presidential nomination

The battle for the presidency will be fought in the video arena. I'm sure I can make use of that YouTube thingy

Give in to your hallucinations...accept us as viable candidates

Come to me John...I need to swallow you whole

Dear God...what have I let this woman turn me into??! Long live the new flesh! Goodbye to this septuagenarian body

Moosebutter uses the Force

There’s a little a cappella group in Provo, Utah, and it goes by the name of Moosebutter.

They’re similar to The Bobs and Moxy Früvous in their eccentric arrangements and their flippant sensibility.

I was blown away by the following video, in which Moosebutter tackles Star Wars via recognizable tunes from various John Williams film scores.

The guy in the video (not in Moosebutter) lip-synched to all four parts, an impressive feat that makes the video that much more fun.

But I think he’s being a little devious, since he ambiguously states that he couldn’t have made the video without Moosebutter’s “help”.  He fails to make it clear that it’s Moosebutter doing the singing, not him.

At any rate, enjoy “Star Wars” by Moosebutter!

LOLcats + Palin = LOLPalin

These days, my blog posts seem to drift inevitably towards Sarah Palin, which leads me to believe one of two things:

1. I’m a bandwagon opportunist capitalizing on easy comedic prey

2. I’m engaged in a Freudian repression of epic proportions, and I am desperately in love with this woman.

I never thought being a bandwagon opportunist would seem like the lesser of two evils, but since the ramifications of statement 2 are too horrible to imagine (not to mention completely untrue), let’s go with the former.

A freelance writer I know has come up with a great idea: hybridizing LOLcats with Sarah Palin!

For the uninitiated, here’s the lowdown on LOLcats

Anyways, he has a whole site of these, and I highly recommend checking them out. I’ve included a sample below. You can click on it to go directly to his site.